Stuck for answers
2009/01/15 04:44:16 Lovey
Unrealnorth a pretty weird to place to start ranting my problems, but its a change of heart from talking to my friends because its always nice to get peoples opinions from over the globe.
Since I decided not to play much UT at all anymore and just enjoy life, its really made me mature alot. I may still only be 17 but I feel alot more like an adult since I don't play as much. Im not one of those who says "im quitting altogether for real life" because thats just plain stupid.
My lifes going pretty great at the minute, I go out occasionally, keep good care of my body and have really good friends and family.
Also im pretty convinced i've found the right girl for me, but thats were the problems start. Im still only 17 but i've been around with this girl for a while and im pretty convinced that I feel love for her, the problem is that she has a boyfriend.
How it started altogether was when she first got her new job at my place we kinda connected instantly and couldn't keep off each other for that shift. After that shift I went home and I instantly found her on myspace, started talking to her added her on msn as you do and started to get to know her alot more. About 2 weeks later, it was about a day to the works do for christmas party, I decided to ask her if she would come my house for a few drinks before we went which we did, but when she was drinking she was really flirty with me but I thought that was the drink. We got to the works christmas party and had something to eat and had a few more drinks. Me and her was abit tipsy and this point so we both decided to go out for a smoke and a chat then we started to hug and she told me she really liked me, so I kissed her at that time I didn't care of the fact that she has a boyfriend I was just happy to taste her lips. End of the night we went home, rung her when I got home to make sure she was alright. Next morning she said she didn't regret the kiss she just said its not right and shouldn't happen again. It became awkward for about 2 weeks after that, but then we went back to normal. I decided to ask her to come to my house again to watch a film so she came and I was holding her in my arms, we was both sober and we was just looking at each other and I decided to go for another kiss but I was really nervous incase she slapped me or something, she hesitated but we kissed for a while after that. She made me promise if we see each other and kiss, sleep together etc that I promise I won't tell anybody not her friends, my friends especially her boyfriend, so I made the promise because I had really high hopes. We've been seeing each other secretly for about 3/4 months now and I've had the best time of my life. Today was just different, she came to my house we still hadn't slept together we'd done everything else like foreplay etc just not slept together. As we was starting to sleep together after 10 minutes I could just notice the guilt on her face because she didn't know if to do it or not. Then she said that she had to stop and she started to cry and telling me how sorry she was. So I got dressed, I was bitterly disappointed because of the fact that she's always done dirty talk to me over the phone to me, she's never bothered about foreplay or kissing. I didn't know if to leave her alone because of how disappointed I was or just to cuddle her, so I thought i'd do the manly thing and give her and cuddle and tell her its alright, she started telling me how sorry she was. So we decided to watch a DVD and decided to give her a cuddle for abit to make sure she was alright, then I walked her to work. On the phone tonight we was talking about what happened and when she was at mine she says she felt guilty but on the phone she said that because she hadn't slept with alot of boys it was someone new so she nervous because she can be very self-conscious im kinda convinced it was wrong timing aswell, but I really don't know what to do. I have strong love for the girl, I always ask her if you love and care for your boyfriend so much why do you still do this with me and she always replies "because i've got alot of feelings for you to Aaron" I think she has some love for me but not alot. I don't know if to tell her I want to stop or to carry on and hope I get what I want in the end, im just lost for ideas. Its easy for people to say "Oh she's got a boyfriend, just leave it" but when you consider a girl "The One" its kinda hard to walk away, I miss her so much when shes not around. I just hope people have been in the same situation, im not looking for attention im just looking for advice.


1 2

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 07:27


wall of text

no advice tho but its really hard to let go if u think shes "the one"

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 09:42

ehm, i think if u thinking that she MAY be "the one" theres some problem =]
and other thing.....for something serious ur kinda young....dunno just my oppinion maybe she realy is what u think she is =]

anyway gl hf in ehm real life ^^

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 10:53

gotta agree with the rest,

but you know you posted on others ppl posts that love threads were lame so .....

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 11:31

What I'd do is try to invite her again at your place, have some good time, see how things go and I'm pretty sure it's gonna go into bed or kissing or some like that. Enjoy that time and see if she's enjoying it. At some point during all this ask her about her boyfriend and her feelings about you.
From my experience, if she's into your arms at that moment and if she feels great (loved etc), whatever the answer will be, it'll be THE one, something like her decision imo.
Maybe it'll be stay with the other guy or maybe not but I think the talking in those moments is reliable.

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 12:09

Weren't you gay?

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 12:35


sup goh

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 12:38

There was way to much cuddling involved...

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 12:40

its simple. go back play ut.

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 12:49

sulaco...pwned =]

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 12:52

gohlinks advice is good imo, but dont do that for a longer period of time. the reason is simple, we can see that you really bother about your own situation, and think about it alot, and I think it also kind of makes you confused. I dont think that she is just using you as affair or something, a little fun beside of her boyfriend, because of the things she said, but if you keep going like this it might just affect you and your wealthiness, when you have to deal with such a huge problem for a long period of time.

well as gohlink said, keep inviting her over to your house again a few times, but talk to her about your feelings. tell her that it really bothers you and its really nice being with her, kissing her or maybe sleeping with her, but you dont want to keep going like that, since the thing that everything has to be secret and you (maybe) have to lie to your friends and family, is making you kind of mad.

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 13:02

I guess i've been abit selfish in that part of it, not talking to her while she's been coming around just doing other things. I feel more sorry for her than I feel angry/mad/sorry for myself I must mean more than just an "affair" if she's prepared to lie to people just to see me.

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 19:09

you honestly want to be that hush thing on the side? :p if someone wanted so badly to keep me a secret id feel like a loser...

if shes not prepared to let anyone know whats the point? from that she obviously has no intention of ending it with her boyfriend. yeah shes guilty so what? i know its easier said than done when you like someone that much but she needs to make her fucking mind up and imo you should make that clear.

i was in a similar situation last year and took someone back to mine, they were all up for it and part way through down to what i can only assume was guilt she started crying on me!! anyway at that moment in time i was thinking what am i doing wasting my time with this fucking retard but trying not to make a big deal about it i said "fuck it whatever im wasted anyway" and went to bed with a miserable penis. anyway the same week my friends saw me leave with this person so they asked if i pimped her and i made a joke about it and said something like "she fuckin cried on me man... bad times", and they took the piss (like friends do!) since i came out dry. anyway people talk and it got blown out of proportion, that i was telling everyone she cried on me and bailed and that i was laughing about it at her expense, so now all her friends now think im a wanker. whoop!

anyway i guess my point is that i was semi gutted cause she i thought she was buff ting, but at the same time the girl had way too much going on to even logically think about anything serious happening. you'd be fooling yourself and youd be the one looking like a gimp at the end of it after being strung along like that. so yeah im happy with being "the cunt" in this case, it doesnt bother me i find it funny.

thing is you have to be selfish with things liek this, completely selfish. cause its you whos gonna get fucked about if you arent. #care about the birds feelings..

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 19:18

Go out this saturday, get drunk, make out (or more!) with atleast two girls. Wake up sunday, your worries will all be gone ;)

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 19:22

this is good advice

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 19:28

She has a big group of friends who hang around each other alot and her boyfriends included in that, she's scared that if she tells him she's been cheating that her friends will hate her, but you gave me a better prospective of it csm i've got alot to think about. Just to let you know jaQal, I do that anyway ha

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 19:34

well unless shes some sort of masochist all she has to say is she thinks she is starting to have feelings for someone else and doesnt know what to do. they arent gonna hate her for that i guarantee it.

you'll just have a group of birds constantly trying to sum u up when ur out which could be quite unnerving. haha

im guessing this girl is pretty young?

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 19:47

i dont think "The one" exists, its just imagination. This kind of love storys often ends dramatic for the one who really loves. But in the end, you have to listen to your heart and feelings. :)

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 19:50

paragraphs. they work.

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 19:52

and his heart and feelings tell him she is the one. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Posted: 2009/01/15 - 19:53

My age csm, pretty mature for her age aswell.

1 2

Write a comment



Remember password:

Forgot password?

the News

UnrealNorth is looking for a.. (3)
UnrealNorth is changing owne.. (13) to host $2000 DM 1.. (12)
ESL: 2on2 Christmas Cup! (1)
10 years of UT2004 - DM 1vs1.. (21)
ESL: 1on1 Autumn Cup 2013 - .. (6)

the Forum

Hey (5)
Flash games ? (24)
how dead are you? (1)
Looking for H1ghTecMan^, aut.. (1)
"New" 1on1 map (5)
Problems posting (13)

the Demos

mouz|kiLLu vs vnv|zech (0)
fnatic vs SK (12)
CheckSix vs Gravity (14)
-ri$k.BlaMe- vs rs][forrest (6)
zelvZ vs Dare (14)
Kenchu vs Dare (6)

the Clan Blogs

vnv vs. dw (25)
reneWal (22)
vnv vs. BEMEAN! (16)
BVA in need! (41)
excello is tada \o/ (26)

the User Blogs

UT3 Duel & TDM Youtube Demo .. (12)
UT2004Community youtube chan.. (16)
Scandinavian Shoutout ! (48)
Its been a while, time to pl.. (9)
Loveyyy (13)